This Ain't No Pie Eatin' Contest...

The title to this post is, unfortunately, what Jim thinks of when he needs a metaphor for when someone is writing a check that his/her body can no longer cash (another mixed metaphor itself) from the cinematic tour de force that was Rocky V:

[Tommy Gunn and George Duke show up outside the bar before the climactic fight scene]
Overweight Drinker: Yo Rock, you need some help?
Rocky: No, guys; ain't no pie eating contest.

This time, however, he and Peta could have used some help in the pie making contest that went down at the Gallo Wineries "family picnic".

Although we had made a Spiced Plum Pie with Tender Pie Crusts on a trial run to bring down to our friends Peter and Kim's dinner (mango salad, chicken satay and red snapper fresh rolls, yum!) last weekend, we were not sure they the complex flavor of the pie would appeal to the palates of the judges. We got all of these free plums after gleaning the tree of a family nearby and gave some to them, the lion's share to the Marin Food Bank and kept the busted ones with which to make jams, pies and sauces. Maybe if we hadn't run out of cinnamon for the pie it would have been a different story.

Anyhooooo. We made Jim's "go to" naughty pie, Lemon Chess Pie with Tender Pie Crust. We couldn't find any blackberries at the store, so we did the Blackberry Compote with raspberries. The compote was more of a coulis really but it was/is tasty (more on why we have so much leftover in a minute). Here's the non-definitive difference between the two. We also served the pie with whipped cream which we had to the side, on ice, with the coulis. Out of seven pies, we did not even place! And one of the pies was a frozen pie which became a pool of goo in the Sonoma County sun. Ouch.

Well, here is the analysis (AAR for any military people) with what went wrong/right with the pie contest.

• We used a different corn meal that was very coarsely ground and thus gritty. Fortunately, most of this fraction remained in the little bit that we had saved for our mini-pie the next day.
• We put out a demonstration piece to show how to add the coulis and the whipped cream, but no one that I saw, added it. If you need to give instructions on how to eat your food, you are wrong.
• The color of the raspberry coulis did not work as well (or at all) with the bright lemon of the pie. The blackberries would have been much more palatable.
• The crust of the winner was super flaky, not tender like ours, and was definitely (OK, maybe not definitely) cooked with crisco or lard.

We know what to do for next year. Watch that waistline!!

Jim and Peta